Carpe Diem
by The Sentient Wolf
Summary: After the disaster at the Ministry and the death of one of its number the Order of the Phoenix struggles desperately to regroup, but tempers are frayed, alliances are questioned, and a Dark plot emerges...
1. Chapter 1

Title: Carpe Diem

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one in this story. The magical world belongs solely to JK Rowling.

Summary: After the disaster at the Ministry and the death of one of their number the Order of the Phoenix struggles desperately to regroup, but tempers are frayed, alliances are questioned, and a Dark plot emerges that threatens to bring the Wizarding World's very last hope to its knees…

Notes: Set right after OoTP, it looks at the war from the POV of a few of the Order members, but focuses mainly on Dumbledore and Snape.

"Would you lie for it? Cry for it? _Die _for it? Would You?"

I Believe- Bon Jovi

"So, shall we revise?"

Nymphadora Tonks started at the sound of the deep voice. She was sitting on the dusty kitchen floor of no.12 Grimmauld Place, her back against the equally dusty wall, elbows resting on her drawn-up knees, propping her head up on her hands and struggling to stay awake.

In the centre of the dank room was a large semi circle of mismatched chairs, only two of the seats were still occupied, however, as the previous denizens had become restless with the long hours of discussion and had strewn themselves across the kitchen.

"Yes, Albus, let's start with ministry security." Moody commented from his usual position beside the door. He was the only Order member who never took a seat, instead choosing to act as a sentry, electric blue eye constantly whizzing about the room.

"Right." From the end of the kitchen opposite to Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt sighed and stopped pacing just long enough to go over the Ministry's intricate layout, the Floo grates, different floors and the Minister's latest reports.

Tonks ran a hand distractedly through her bright orange hair, try as she might she simply could not concentrate; she had been up most of the night on surveillance duty and was now absolutely exhausted.

Following Shacklebolt's comments various other Ministry officials, including Emmeline Vance and Arthur Weasley, spoke of the developments in their respective departments.

Dumbledore listened intently from his Transfigured armchair at the centre of the arc of chairs, chin resting on interlaced fingers and head cocked slightly to the side. "Very well." He said when the others had stopped speaking, voice betraying none of the fatigue he must have been feeling. "And what of the _other_ end of the spectrum?"

In unison thirteen pairs of eyes darted to the shadowy fireplace and in spite of herself Tonks sat up a little straighter.

Bathed in shadow and leaning against the mantelpiece Snape had been so utterly silent that his presence was almost forgotten by the other members…a very uncommon occurrence indeed.

Now for the first time Severus spoke, voice as sharp as ever, "The Dark Lord seems entirely focused on regrouping his forces after the disastrous escapade at the Ministry." He allowed himself a small smirk at the reaction of those around him to the still very raw memory of Black's death. "Naturally, he places great importance on alliances-"

"And that's where Greyback comes in, I suppose." Tonks' stomach had made two great leaps in the last thirty seconds, first at the reference to Sirius, and second at the sound of Remus' quiet voice.

Remus Lupin was leaning against a long dinning table pushed against the wall. In the days since the battle in the Ministry, Lupin's hair seemed to have doubled in greyness and his robes hung more loosely than ever.

"Why, yes Lupin." There was a pronounced sneer in Snape's voice and the tense anticipation in the room suddenly skyrocketed. "He seems to think that employing the service of a few dozen bloodthirsty monsters would serve his purpose quite nicely."

There was a collective intake of breath at Snape's indirect, vicious attack on Remus.

Very, very slowly Lupin raised his chocolate brown eyes, locking them with Snape's black ones, but made no response, whether from sheer exhaustion or, more likely, simple common sense he decided that he was not going to take the bait.

Moody, however, was incensed. "And that's exactly why he values _you,_ Snape." He growled.

Without even realizing it Tonks had risen to her feet and Remus had moved away from the table toward Moody, both anticipating a fight.

"What would you know of the Dark Lord's opinion of me?" Snarling in rage Snape had stepped out of the shadows to face Moody.

"I spent my entire career hunting _filth _like you." Mad-eye had left his post, stalking into the room…

"And look where that got you." Snape's voice was pitched low and laced with venom. "A paranoid old fool, remembered only for his cruelty…"

"That is quite enough!" The sheer dynamism in Dumbledore's voice made everyone present jump. He wasn't shouting of course, Dumbledore never shouted, but his voice was filled with forceful authority. "Now, I was under the impression that I was in the presence of mature, reasonable adults…evidently I was mistaken."

Remus and Tonks exchanged a quick glance as Moody mumbled something inaudible.

"I am very aware of the fact that you are all under great strain but we are the Wizarding World's last hope, I simply cannot stress this enough…however, if anyone feels that this responsibility is too much for them then by all means…leave."

It came as no surprise when no one moved. There was a beat of silence before Minerva McGonagall said softly, "You know we're with you every step of the way Albus…"

Twinkling blue eyes swept in her direction. "I do know Minerva, thank you. Now, I believe the meeting has come to a conclusion. Severus, will you accompany me back to my office? To the rest of you, thank you all for your time and patience this evening, I will inform you of the next meeting in due course."

With that the members of the Order of the Phoenix filed silently out of the room, leaving behind only Mundungus Fletcher, asleep in his chair.

This is not the way I wanted it to go at all! I can only hope it wasn't that bad…please tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This fic is now AU. There was a plot bunny that gnawed rather viciously at my brain and this is the only way I could get it out.

"To what do I owe this gift my friend? My life, my love, my soul?"

Hide-Creed

CHAPTER 2

"Severus, please sit."

Snape had followed Dumbledore into his circular office and now stood stubbornly in the doorway, simply watching the elder man as he seated himself behind his desk. The Potions Master sensed a lecture and was _not _in the mood.

"Sherbet Lemon?" The Headmaster gestured to the packet of sweets upon his desk and as he shook his head Severus wondered, not for the first time, if anyone actually ever accepted this bizarre offering.

"Well, if you won't accept the offer of truly delightful Muggle confectionary." Dumbledore paused to peer intently at his youngest teacher. "At least indulge me by taking a seat."

Stifling a groan, Severus sat himself in the high wing-backed chair in front of the Headmaster's desk and met the old man's gaze obstinately.

He was waiting to be berated for his rash words to Lupin.

Outside the walls of Hogwarts the sun was beginning to set, disappearing behind the hills in a burst of brilliant red and gold that stained the sky and cast a pale hue upon the floor of Dumbledore's office and the faces of the silent portraits.

"I was just wandering." Dumbledore began softly, compelling blue eyes never wavering from Snape's face. "If you wanted to talk…"

At this Severus was taken aback. In all honesty he believed that he might just have preferred the lecture.

"I—" He opened his mouth, willing his usually sharp mind to force some intellectual sentence from his lips.

But Dumbledore went on. "I noticed your rather disturbing silence during the meeting, and your sudden, unprovoked verbal assail on Remus, it all leads me to believe—"

"Unprovoked? He interrupted me!" Severus fired, realizing as he said it just how immature the words were.

Albus raised a silvery eyebrow. "As you just did I. Shall I make some cutting remark regarding your time as a Death Eater in return?"

It was obviously a rhetorical question and he went on quickly. "No…there was no apparent reason for your reference to Sirius Black's death or your callous words against werewolves, you must have known that you would cause some sort of uproar, or at the very least a distraction." At this Dumbledore leant forwards across his desk. "This, I believe, was your intention."

Severus showed no reaction save for the arching of one oily eyebrow.

"Since your last meeting with Voldemort three weeks ago," Dumbledore went on. "You have been terse and abrasive." _More than usual anyway._ "And upon mention of Dark activity you began referring to Sirius and antagonizing Remus, any attempt to draw attention from the topic at hand." A small, slightly sad smile played at the elderly man's lips. "To great effect I must say."

A bitter look crossed Severus' face. "Perhaps." He whispered. "Though I must admit, I never expected Moody to retort."

"No I would imagine not." The aging Headmaster rose from his chair and strode to where Fawkes sat on his perch, preening his magnificent feathers. "But why take the risk?" A gnarled hand extended to stroke the bird's fiery red belly. "What are you so intent on hiding, my boy?"

Snape bristled at the address as he too got to his feet and, partly to relieve his restiveness, partly to escape Dumbledore's piercing gaze, he strolled to the window.

"I thought it prudent…" He began, staring at the dying sun and steadily rising darkness.

_Ah, how metaphorical…_

"I thought it prudent not to mention this during the meeting as plans are currently still a work in progress and I felt it unwise to cause undue worry."

Stroking his pet phoenix Albus let a tiny smile flitter over his lips at irony in the Potion Master's words, if Severus' way of _preventing _worry meant riling his comrades up by insulting one of their number then Albus almost shuddered at the thought of what Severus could do if he _intended_ to cause strain…

_But I've witnessed that side of him. _He realized sorrowfully. _I know all too well what Severus Snape can do when faced with desperate situations. _

Severus pressed a ghostly pale hand against the windowpane as Dumbledore watched him sadly, speaking softly. "What plans are these, Severus?"

"The Dark Lord," Snape stared into the eyes of his distorted reflection, eerily white against the growing darkness outside. "He is now developing a means of tracking certain wand signatures."

At this Albus looked up sharply, two fingers resting against Fawkes chest suddenly unmoving. "_Any _wand signatures?"

"That is his ultimate goal, yes…but for now he is simply concerned with _specific _ones…"

Snape's voice trailed into nothingness as both men stood contemplating the severity of this statement.

"When is he planning on finalizing the details?"

"Sometime…" Severus waited for the blow to fall. "Sometime in the next two days."

"And just _when_ were you planning to inform me of all this?" Albus turned to face his employee, voice pitched low and calm but eyes blazing.

"I was hoping that there would be no need." Severus felt his own frustration well within him. "The idea, for the most part, seemed unreachable! It was far too large an operation to expect—" He broke off abruptly, black eyes rapidly masking something.

Very slowly he dropped his right hand to his smarting left wrist.

Locking eyes with his former student Dumbledore insisted quickly. "Go. Answer his summons and come directly back here to report."

Severus held his gaze for a just a moment longer before turning and tearing from the room.

Dumbledore stood watching his departure with an aching heart, reciting a silent prayer for the man he had always wanted so desperately to save.

It was only the portraits and one lone phoenix who heard the heart-wrenching whisper of; "Be careful, my child."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Look what you did. Is this who you wanted me to be? Well, it's _not me_.

It's Not Me-Three Doors Down

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Only the very last of the sun's rays still lit the skies when Severus joined the circle of Death Eaters in the middle of a deserted forest just beyond Diagon Alley.

He was apparently the last to arrive and take his place, earning him dark glowers from behind various masks.

Voldemort, however, didn't even spare him a glance. The Dark wizard expelled his breath slowly and took in deeply the scent of those around him through the snake-like slits of his nostrils.

His ruby red eyes swept leisurely over his forces, skin tingling with the near palpable anticipation in the air.

"Welcome." The mere sound of his icy voice sent shivers down the Death Eaters' spines. "Welcome, my most loyal." Earth crunched under black dragon-skin boots as Voldemort began to pace the interior of his ranks.

"Tonight…" He breathed. "…Tonight we are to embark on the first step of the single, greatest undertaking in wizarding history."

Severus could do nothing but will his heart to stop racing and quickly quell his true emotions…The Dark Lord was such an advanced Legilmens he could practically _sense _others' feelings without so much as looking at them.

If the Dark Lord was beginning some potentially destructive mission then there was no way that Severus could warn the Order in time…but he couldn't focus on that right now…he had to keep himself impassionate…

It was moments like this that Snape's true merit went unnoticed, the dangers he faced unspoken and his heroism unsung.

Not a single soul could ever hope to comprehend what it took to be Severus Snape.

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Tonks hummed very quietly to herself an old Muggle song she remembered from her childhood as she rummaged through the pantry.

The white glow from her wand as it rested on the countertop illuminated her now pale purple hair and cast shadows on the kitchen floor as she withdrew a bottle from the cupboard.

Glancing once over each shoulder she took a quick sip.

"Ah, drinking straight from the bottle are we?" Said a very amused voice from the doorway.

The startled witch jumped a foot in the air and nearly dropped the bottle in question. She spun around rapidly to find Remus Lupin leaning against the doorframe.

"Caught red handed, I guess." Tonks admitted sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't realize anyone else was awake."

With the tightening security proceedings Dumbledore had insisted that the Order members spend as much time at Headquarters as possible, which often meant up to twenty people spending the night and countless midnight feasts…particularly if Tonks was involved…

"We're the only two here tonight. And," Remus chuckled as he stepped into the room. "I believe I was awoken by a rather loud crash sometime ago…I wonder what could have caused it…"

Tonks was extremely thankful for the darkness around them, at least that way Remus couldn't see her blush, remembering how she had walked right into the kitchen table about twenty minutes ago.

Remus tactfully overlooked this, reaching for the bottle in her hand and reading by wandlight. "Odkin's Firewhiskey 1865…my, my…"

"Fine year." Tonks grinned, taking the bottle from him and hopping up unto the counter. "And since nobody seems to have checked it for poisons I decided to take the risk upon myself."

With a laugh Remus settled himself next to her. "It's tough job but someone's got to do it….Moody would flay you alive though."

Tonks took a defiant draught. "Paranoid old fool." She chuckled then stopped abruptly, realizing that she had just echoed Snape's sentiments. She added quickly. "But he really was an amazing Auror…and apparently a great friend."

There was a moment of thoughtful silence before Tonks ploughed on. "Look Remus…what Snape said earlier…it-it just wasn't right." She finished rather lamely.

By the light of her wand Remus eyed the younger witch for a moment. "Maybe… but there is far too much history between Severus and me… though I had always hoped..." He shook his graying head. "Reconciliation seems impossible now. But, I must admit, his outburst tonight, it seemed almost… premeditated."

Hearing this Tonks frowned and took another drink to give herself a moment to think. "You mean," She swallowed. "He planned it all?"

"Not exactly. I know it seems impractical but I think he may have wanted the confrontation this evening."

"Hmmm." Tonks toyed with the bottle thoughtfully. "If that is true then it almost seems as though Dumbledore played along."

The werewolf nodded in agreement. "Yes, I believe he was thinking along the same lines, which is why he asked to speak to Severus in private later." He chortled softly. "A lot can be said regarding Severus Snape but one has to confess, he really is brilliant."

Tonks snorted impertinently, refusing to divulge that, secretly, she had always agreed.

"I know." Remus sighed. "One hates to admit it…but his distraction worked perfectly, he never did get to finish his report about Voldemort, now did he?"

"D'you think he's hiding something?" Tonks' voice had hardened slightly but Remus just shrugged.

"That much seems obvious." He said. "But just what it is we can only guess for now."

"He really was out of line earlier." Tonks said after a moment. "None of us…none of us see you like that." She took another swing of the Firewhiskey but Remus grabbed her arm gently.

"Hey," He chided playfully, taking the bottle from her grasp. "Save some for me."

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Many times in his life Severus had wished he were anywhere but his present location…now was one of those times. And that was saying something.

Phase One of Voldemort's plan had been executed within half of an hour of its clarification and the Death Eaters now stood over the trembling form of Ollivander, owner of Diagon Alley's most prestigious wand shop.

It had taken Severus exactly fifteen seconds after the Dark Lord had given the order to capture the wand marketer to recognize that his worst fears had been realized.

That was over three hours ago and since then things had only spiraled further and further out of control.

The sun had long since faded and the only light for miles now shone from the sockets of Voldemort's blood-red eyes as he surveyed and torture and interrogation of Ollivander.

So far Ollivander had held out well, refusing to divulge the information the Dark Lord so clearly craved, but Severus knew it was only a matter of time…

The volley of torture had come in rounds. Each Death Eater had delivered a bout of Cruciatus, increasing the strength of the curse with each round.

For the third time Severus stepped over the damaged man and hissed the spell, dredging up every painful memory within his mind to fuel the curse, all the while hating himself for the small spark of pleasure he still felt upon hearing the man's agonized screams.

Looking into Ollivander's tormented eyes; Severus couldn't help the thrill that raced through him.

Bellatrix Lestrange stepped eagerly from her place in the circle as Severus returned to his.

She raised her wand quickly but Voldemort stopped her. "No, no Bella." The cruelty in his every syllable seemed to penetrate right into Ollivander's very bones. "I have a better idea." From the pocket of his robes Voldemort produced a long silver dagger, caressing it almost lovingly he said. "A crude Muggle invention it may be…yet highly effective…use it well."

The screams that pierced the night air were nearly unbearable. Ollivander's trashing body was soon drenched in its own blood as the ground stained red around it.

"That is enough now, Bella." The Dark Lord commended lazily. "I do not want him dead just yet."

Severus' mind whirled frantically, there was no way that he could save Ollivander without putting himself at jeopardy, he could not stop the interrogation without revealing himself as a traitor and leaving the scene was completely out of the question.

What now? He asked himself urgently, fighting the burning desire to lose himself in the proceedings and just let go of all feeling.

"Severus." The deadly soft voice brought Snape immediately to attention.

"My Lord?"

"I believe you have a supply of Vertaserum on your person. Am I mistaken?"

_I could lie_. Severus thought desperately, feeling the phial shift against his chest. _I could tell him no and…_

But the unspoken words in those demonic red eyes… the manner in which he phrased his question… it was nothing but a calculated test.

"Of course you are right, Master." Severus reached into his inner left breast pocket, the one closest to his steadily breaking heart, and withdrew a tiny phial of crystal-clear liquid.

"So I thought." The lipless mouth curled into an unmistakable, pitiless smile. "Now administer it."

He would have been a fool to disobey and everyone present knew it.

Stooping quickly Severus grasped the wounded man by the jaw, mind scrambling desperately for a way out. Clenching his hand he forced the man's mouth open, feeling the warmth of fresh blood spill over his fingers and onto his sleeve.

Hurriedly Severus searched the old man's face for a sign of some sort, almost praying that he would be too damaged for the potion to have any effect.

There was a faint glint of recognition, followed sharply by accusation, in Ollivander's eyes. Without warning he retched and spat deliberately a horrible mix of saliva, blood and vomit right into Snape's eye.

Drawing back in shock Severus raised his wand and snarled "_Crucio_!" before he could even think of restraining himself.

The man before him twitched and jerked, releasing a bloodcurdling scream that was joined instantly by the taunting of the other Death Eaters.

"Enough!" Voldemort's command came swiftly, cutting off the jeers.

The screams ended the second Severus pulled the curse, breathing heavily and eyes dancing.

"I said _administer the potion_." It was clear the Voldemort's patience was fast wearing thin. He moved beside Severus, letting two icy fingers brush the younger man's cheek. "You may have your fun later, my servant." He whispered.

Drawing back the Dark Lord watched as Severus bent again, forcing Ollivander's lips to part and pouring the potion carefully down his throat.

Ollivander's form slackened and his eyes went blank, Voldemort, however, was watching the Potions Master.

What was it about Severus Snape that intrigued him so? Red eyes took in the sallow skin and lank raven hair as the object of his musings got to his feet.

From the moment that fragile young man had been branded with the Dark Mark Voldemort had known that there was something so utterly inimitable about him. He was already murderously embittered at the tender age of sixteen, his knowledge of the Dark Arts unbound and his curiosity and thirst for acceptance matched only by his eagerness to learn.

In the most clandestine part of his mind Voldemort had seen the similarities between himself and Severus. Both Half-Bloods, treated horrifically by their fathers and parched for revenge.

Yes, behind those haunting black eyes Severus' fury knew no bounds. Once tapped he could use it unleash the most devastating of attacks.

The Dark Lord allowed himself a sadistic smile, that power was at his fingertips now. He alone held the key to Severus' wealth of pure rage… the strongest element in Dark Magic.

His spy was essentially his strongest weapon, capable of achieving _anything _with a little provocation… and Albus Dumbledore was playing right into his hands by accepting the 'ex-Death Eater.'

How could that fool ever believe that Severus had truly renounced his old ways? Severus _thrived _on the Dark Arts; it was what he lived, what he breathed. He was a born Dark wizard and that is exactly what he would die.


End file.
